Fake crop-circles, UFO's and misssing time
- Rev. Ivan Stang - the Church of the Subgenius speaks out (from a rant in 2003)

"After watching Reverend Circlemaker's slide show and explanations, I will never be able to look at a crop circle photo again without seeing all the tell-tales, clues, and mistakes. If you know what to look for, the mystery vanishes from crop circle photographs.

BUT! According to Rev. Circlemaker, all the magic RETURNS when you go out into a field in the dead of night with your poles and boards and ropes, and goggles and surveying devices, and diagrams, and MAKE THE CROP CIRCLE.

The aliens don't make the crop circles ........
but sometimes they come to watch the ARTISTS make the crop circles.

You know the "missing time" that is stolen from abducted UFO believers?
The aliens turn around and GIVE THAT STOLEN TIME to the crop circle artists.

For they sometimes report "EXTRA time," that is, nights when they're struggling to finish an especially complex diagram in the fields before sunrise, and time seems to slow down or stretch out just for them, so that they can finish the circle with what later appears to have been supernatural speed!!"